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The Scud Saga: Part 3 (As Told By D)
Posted by The one and only "B"...
on
2:28 PM
With South Park on in the background… Part 3:
Scud considered himself to be an author. In fact, he even wrote a manuscript. I say manuscript because unfortunately it was never published. Since it was never published, few people ever read his literary masterpiece. Scud wrote what we like to call his sex novel. Just like any other author, Scud included characters from his life, including C and G. You can imagine how excited they were to be in Scud’s sex novel. Yeah, really excited.
"It was a dark and stormy night…” Well-read in the classics, Scud paid homage to his favorite writers by beginning his sex novel with possibly the most cliché opening in the history of literature. From what we could see, he wrote nearly 50 pages. I was impressed that he was capable of that. Unfortunately, when we grabbed his novel to take a look and saw the opening, he snatched it back and ran away. Scud destroyed his sex novel. He never mentioned it again. Since we never got to see what he wrote about C and G, we can only assume they were engaged in extremely graphic sexual exploits. Knowing Scud, the story was probably highly inappropriate and nonsensical.
One day, Scud went to the library and left his back pack behind. Briefly, I’d like to mention how much fun frustrating Scud was. He would flail his arms and roar (similar to the ass in face incident). It usually ended in a good laugh. Fortunately, this was one of those times. J and I took everything out of Scud’s bag, turned the bag inside out, and put Scud’s stuff back in. We placed the bag exactly where he left it. Right before Scud returned, a friend of ours (Habib) finally arrived to lunch (not sure where he was). I want to make it clear that Habib had no idea what was going and had no role in our joke. Scud came down the stairs, saw his bag different than he left it (he probably expected us to mess with him), and start wailing. The vice principal, who was nearby at the time, heard Scud and came down the stairs to the pit. He immediately accused Habib of messing with Scud and threatened him with detention for lying. J and I stepped up and admitted it was we who had fucked with Scud’s bag. The whole time Scud did not realize that his stuff was inside the bag. He must have thought we burned it or threw it in the garbage. It’s possible he never realized it. This was the last day we were allowed to eat lunch in the pit. The vice principal forbid us from going down there, and we were forced to eat in the cafeteria for the rest of the year. Fortunately, the best Scud stories happened after this point.
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Scud considered himself to be an author. In fact, he even wrote a manuscript. I say manuscript because unfortunately it was never published. Since it was never published, few people ever read his literary masterpiece. Scud wrote what we like to call his sex novel. Just like any other author, Scud included characters from his life, including C and G. You can imagine how excited they were to be in Scud’s sex novel. Yeah, really excited.
"It was a dark and stormy night…” Well-read in the classics, Scud paid homage to his favorite writers by beginning his sex novel with possibly the most cliché opening in the history of literature. From what we could see, he wrote nearly 50 pages. I was impressed that he was capable of that. Unfortunately, when we grabbed his novel to take a look and saw the opening, he snatched it back and ran away. Scud destroyed his sex novel. He never mentioned it again. Since we never got to see what he wrote about C and G, we can only assume they were engaged in extremely graphic sexual exploits. Knowing Scud, the story was probably highly inappropriate and nonsensical.
One day, Scud went to the library and left his back pack behind. Briefly, I’d like to mention how much fun frustrating Scud was. He would flail his arms and roar (similar to the ass in face incident). It usually ended in a good laugh. Fortunately, this was one of those times. J and I took everything out of Scud’s bag, turned the bag inside out, and put Scud’s stuff back in. We placed the bag exactly where he left it. Right before Scud returned, a friend of ours (Habib) finally arrived to lunch (not sure where he was). I want to make it clear that Habib had no idea what was going and had no role in our joke. Scud came down the stairs, saw his bag different than he left it (he probably expected us to mess with him), and start wailing. The vice principal, who was nearby at the time, heard Scud and came down the stairs to the pit. He immediately accused Habib of messing with Scud and threatened him with detention for lying. J and I stepped up and admitted it was we who had fucked with Scud’s bag. The whole time Scud did not realize that his stuff was inside the bag. He must have thought we burned it or threw it in the garbage. It’s possible he never realized it. This was the last day we were allowed to eat lunch in the pit. The vice principal forbid us from going down there, and we were forced to eat in the cafeteria for the rest of the year. Fortunately, the best Scud stories happened after this point.
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