So this is my first wall post I think maybe? To open up I am T
Each post will be a collection of stories of my adventures.
I was going to write about Halloween but I got sidetracked with something that happened at ShopRite today. But before I elaborate I just want to say something. I love milfs.
Insert picture of Milf*
First of all, let me tell you what they are. The dictionary defines the word as an acronym for Mother I’d Like to Fuck. It is a common colloquial term generally regarded as vulgar when spelled out. It denotes a sexually attractive older female, generally between 25 and 50 years of age.
I completely agree with this statement except one part. Sexually attractive older female needs to have pushed a baby out of her vagina in order to be a Milf. Otherwise she would be a cougar.
So I am shopping for groceries in the local ShopRite and at I’m in cereal section. It turns out that they are having a sale on applejacks, which don’t really taste like apples, which is cool cause I’m like mildly allergic to real apples. So this woman I don’t know let’s call her Sarah.
So she’s talking about how she’s shopping for her 2 children and how they enjoy applejacks as well. My own mother is off looking at broccoli by the pound or ounce. Me I would use the metric system and go by kilogram.
Believe it or not I can’t believe this happened and well this is why I fucking love life’s random kicks in the cakehole.
BTW Sarah was not like Porn Star material she was an average build woman who had frizzled hair and freckles but she had a delightful personality.
So how it went down was a series of crazy events. I was wearing a peanuts tshirt and she stopped my movements by telling me that she loves charile brown. I said I’m more of a fan of Snoopy cause he doesn’t do shit, eats and sleeps. What a glorious life. So she talks about how her kids do the same things as snoopy. As I reach for the applejacks she tells how they love them. I mean who doesn’t like applejacks. It doesn’t occur to me that she’s be hitting on me. As a genius I tell her my name and I politely leave as I need to finish this shopping. As I am about to leave she stops me and asks me to get her some cereal from the top shelf. As I get her the grainy goodness she asks if I workout which I laugh because I think I still look like a sack of crap. Yet I answer with Yes I do the insanity workout with Shaun T.
As I reread what transpired I realized this only happened in the span of 10 mins. I was wondering what happened to my own mother. Don’t get me wrong I would talk to that milf for as long as I wanted but I didn’t think it was wise to while my mother was off somewhere in the store. As I say goodbye again. I rendezvous with my mother at the register about to put down all my stuff and guess who was ahead of me??? Milf Sarah.
BAM you don’t think it gets more awkward then you are sorely mistaken. She had asked me to help her bag her groceries and put them in her shopping cart. No that isn’t the awkward part, what made it awkward was she was commenting on how strong and fit I was which made the cashier uncomfortable. Luckly I believe my mother didn’t hear any of that or I want to believe that she didn’t. You would think the awkwardness would end there.
NOPE. Right when she was about to leave she thanks me and calls me by my real name. That caught the attention of my mother and it was a series of never ending questions on the car ride back about did I know that stranger and etc.
You must be thinking what was the point of this story. I’ll tell you. Milf are tasty pieces of bitches. I mean who wouldn’t want to Verb the Adjective Noun? This is Exactly my point.
I’ll stab you in the face with hostess Snowballs if you don’t comment
Always stay smexy,