Hello World!

Welcome to the life and chronicles of My Jersey Boys and me, B (the only girl who hangs out with them). Our original mission was to prove that not all of Jersey is obsessed with GTL. Now it's kind of become the place where we share our random thoughts, ridiculous stories, regular quote updates, and maybe a picture or video here and there. There's always something going on...

Love from,
The one and only,
B

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Chipmunk cheeks and Sharktopus...

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 11:58 AM
"B: so j got his wisdom teeth out today.... I really want to know if he looks like a chipmunk. If he does, there needs to be a picture."

Well, unfortunately J did not have chipmunk cheeks, but there were a few very funny conversations that spawned from all this. They went a little something like this... Actually, they went exactly like this. D has pointed out that I am very meticulous about quoting people correctly. C was right, it is a curse.

Back on topic, this all takes place in TK's garage....

B: So I think I got the longest test from J ever. Normally it's just like a one word response, but this text goes on for two pages.
TK: What did it say?
B: Well I texted him...
Hey. So random question. Have your cheeks puffed up like a chipmunks yet? lol.
J:Not at all. I kept my face iced all day yesterday and today. Plus I have swelling medication. Skartopus on sci fi. I took an oxy today. I was incompetent for like four hours.
B: That sounds like the best day ever....

Tk: How do you spell sharktopus?
B: Shark-to-pus

TK(texting J): How was sharktopus?! lol
J: Really freakin bad
TK: fucking Sci fi. They make the best worst movies ever.

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The Grapist and Little Blue Smokey...

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 11:41 AM

C: Tk, I never thought I would see a hookah like this, and a small blue whale ashtray in this garage.
TK: Things are changing man...

I have a hookah named The Grapist, and a whale ashtray that has smoke come out the blowhole. How can you not love this? *laughs*

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Are you in the Christmas Spirit???

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 11:10 PM


 


I sure hope you all are in the spirit of Christmas. We sure are! Tk and I set up Christmas lights in the garage, plus I brought out the Big Red Chair (which used to belong to my little brother and sister) with Blue (a more mature Blue), as well as our J doll, and the Charlie Brown Christmas tree (with a few bonus ornaments). T has designated ornaments for us. Which are as follows: R is Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, B is Kenny, DM is the red bulb, T is the can of Budwiser, Cartman is C, TK is Gene Simmons, Stan is J, and D is Kyle.... Oh yeah, and Jesus is the tree. I don't know how T comes up with some of this stuff, but I think it's cool that he made me Kenny. Especially after the Coon and Friends 3 part episodes.

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The J Action Figure

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 11:10 PM
This past Halloween, J mentioned that his old roommate thought he looked like Aladdin. Which, I must admit, is ridiculously true. I had joked with TK that it would be funny if we could find an Aladdin doll, dress it up in normal clothes, and say it's the J action figure. It turned out a few weeks later, I was at the Disney store with my kid sister, and what should I happen to find there? An Aladdin doll... It was fate.


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The Lions Head

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 6:21 PM

The lions head... Originally the boys won it during our adventures in Wildwood. It is supposed to be passed around, but so far it has only been passed on to TK. We make good use of it though, as shown in the video above.


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Something we just had to share...

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 10:25 PM
So I'm currently in love with the whitest kids u know... Had to post a few videos we found.
Hopefully tonight I am going to be capable of writing some new blogs. Once I remember how to write, and use my laptop. I'm not in a good state to be writing right now.

XOXO,
B.... and TK, who is currently telling me his plans to make a Star Fox movie. It shall be epic. Someday.
TK: It's unusally well thought out.

P.S. (to the boys) Someone needs to get R to finish writing the screenplay to Overtime... and since you all forgot me when you planned on writing this, I want to be the person who is filming all of it. The documentary filmer. It makes sense since I'm the one always taking the pictures. I blame all of you for making me a picture whore.








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The Butters Impression

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 1:49 PM



For your own creepy enjoyment, I have the voice note from the girl who can do a perfect Butters impression. (To clarify: the person doing the Butter's impression wasn't me. As far as I know, J doesn't hate me. lol. Thanks, DM for being a big enough asshole to suggest that it was me doing the impression.)
xoxo,
B

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The Hole in the Wall: Part two

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 1:45 PM

The infamous hole in the wall. I forgot that DM had taken a picture of it, and a very long conversation was held online because of it. It's actually pretty funny, so I'm adding it on here. In these posts there are a few people who haven't been mentioned before, or have only been mentioned once. "E" is CD's girlfriend. "SG" is one of the girls we know. And "P" is our friend who has been on a mission the past two years. The girls sometimes refer to him as baywatch. You would have to go to the beach with him to understand.)

B: All i can say is...YOU SUCK!!! *glares*
J: Oops?
B: *laughs* Oops? *shakes head and rolls eyes* Boys...
DM: good thing all the other stuff we broke wasn't as noticeable!
J: Yeah
B: WHAT
DM: and as long as no one finds out, we're in the clear!!
B: HORRIBLE!!! YOU ARE HORRIBLE!!! So what really happened? Did J trip? Or was he really banging his head up against the wall?
T: haha and let's not forget the fan cough P cough P
E: so THIS is the infamous hole. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BOYS :D!!
B: Proud? J shoved his head through my wall! And you are PROUD?!?!? And what the hell do you mean about the fan?! P!!!
DM: haha, and you havent seen what happened to the other rooms lol

B: Oh dear god...
J: At least we were able to make it so that nobody could see the attic ever again
B: ...I hope you know, the ghost of my great-grand father is going to haunt you! Haunt you all!!!

SG: thats a tiny hole i was thinkin it'd be the size of J's head lol
B: TINY!!! SG hun, that is not tiny.


(Upon reviewing: This is kind of funny. We can all laugh about this now. Well, except my Gma. She's still bitter... Man I was high strung in high school. xoxo B)

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The Hole in the Wall

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 1:29 PM
C: B, your dad scared the shit out of us at afterprom! Right J? Remember Wildwood? J: Yeah man, he was driving us around in circles in the woods. We thought he was going to kill us. Who would have thought we'd put a hole in the wall, and he would offer to buy us ice cream after.

Flash back to three years ago.

It was senior year of high school, and we had our prom weekend ahead of us. After attending the dance the night before, all of us piled into cars and made our way to my Dad's house in Smithville, New Jersey. Not too far from Wildwood. We spent the day at the beach, and when we got back to my Dad's house, the girls all took turns taking showers. Meanwhile the boys followed my Dad to my Great Grandmother's house, which was five minutes away, so that they would be able to take showers as quickly as possible. At the time, I had considered going with the boys to make sure my Dad was nice, but it didn't seem like that was the most appropriate of ideas. My Dad can be a bit intimidating though. I mean, any man who's six foot seven can pretty much lay on the intimidation without even trying. Maybe I should have gone with them....As it turned out, not only had my Dad joked that he was doing mandatory bag checks, but he drove the guys around in the back woods of Pomona for thirty minutes before finally taking the boys to my Great Grandmothers house. I would like to remind you at this time, her house was five minutes away. The house had been empty because my Great Grandmother had passed away, and we were trying to rent the house out. So my Dad left the boys at the house alone, and personally I think that he should be held partially responsible for the days events. There's only one shower in the house, and all the guys were worried about how long TK and T were going to take in the shower, because they both have long hair. TK took a three minute shower, no problem. T on the other hand, spent a good twenty minutes washing his hair. Leaving J, the last person to take a shower, whining outside the bathroom door begging him to hurry up. It was at this time, that J was jokingly banging his head against the wall. That is, until his head went through it. All the boys were freaking out about how they were going to tell my Dad, who had returned and was currently giving D directions on how to get back to the house. According to the boys, J squared his shoulders and marched right out to my Dad and told him they accidentally put a hole in the wall. Apparently my Dad stopped giving D directions, listened to J, then turned back to D and continued telling him how to get back. A few minutes later an ice cream truck came by, and he offered to buy the boys ice cream.

As far as I can tell, it was a weird series of events. I asked my Dad about it recently, and he denied trying to scare the boys... although he did have an evil grin while he was saying it.

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the pterodactyl porn kid...

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 1:24 PM
Sometimes, I wish I could say I made this stuff up. Unfortunately, that is so not the case. Last weekend a few of the boys and I were at a party up at Rutgers. Usually I stick to the boys like glue, (which, according to C, makes me an anti-social bitch because I don't really talk to people I don't know) but somehow J and C disappeared and I was left alone in the basement at this party with no one to talk to. Enter, pterodactyl porn kid. This drunk fool zeroed in on me faster than a fat kid zeros in on chocolate birthday cake. Since I was being an awkward, anti-social loner, I figured it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone I didn't know. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was zoning out durning his drunken rant, and letting C borrow my phone to call J, and letting him take off without me. So there I was trapped, with no way out of this conversation, and no phone to text and ask for help, when this kid showed me his Blink-182 tattoo. This was mistake number three. I mentioned that C loves Blink-182, and that he just ran off with my phone, and I should probably go find him. Pterodactyl porn kid (the nickname will be explained shortly), saw that as an invitation to apparently follow me around for the rest of the night. We eventually found C, sitting out on the porch, smoking a cigarette, and playing with the magic eight ball application on my iPhone (seriously, C. Stop stealing my phone and killing the battery so you can play some stupid game, damn it! *laugh*). Eventually C, J, R and I were all reunited and were killing time up in the attic when Pterodactyl porn kid told us he had to show us these great videos. The first one being pterodactyl porn. It's excatly what you think it is. Except you need to add in puppets. It was disturbing to say the least. Lucky for me, I managed to score a little couch to myself, but it meant I couldn't see the videos. Pterodactyl porn kid apparently had not picked up on my "there's no way in hell I'm interested in you" vibe, and offered to move over so I could sit by him and watch the videos. He was swiftly shot down, with no mercy, but hey! We discovered some pretty cool videos from him. Which I am willing to share with all of you. Except the Pterodactyl porn video. That you can find on your own, sickos.








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The Chairs Essay

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 12:47 PM
(A Note From B: Hello all! This post actually originates from an essay I recently wrote for my college English class. We were focusing on literary narratives, and our teacher asked us to write about something that someone said that changed our lives or perspectives. While the rest of my class wrote papers on letters their dead grandfathers wrote to them, or horrible accidents, or learning their father wasn't really their father, their father was a heroine addict who died five years ago, I was writing my essay on my jersey boys. It's actually because of this essay that we decided to turn our twitter account into a blog. We have too many funny stories to share, and twitter doesn't allow us enough writing space to share them. So here is our first story, we call it The Chairs Theory.)

“Chairs. Chairs are everywhere.” It’s amazing how one simple comment, meant to explain the female psyche, could enlighten me to the inner workings of male and female interactions. Not to mention, it has turned into one of the most hilariously insightful statements I have ever heard. The Chairs Theory is a current running joke amongst my friends and I. What does this comment mean? Where did it originate from? Well, it all started two years ago in my friend’s basement.
It was the beginning of a blistering hot summer, when I came home from Colorado to visit my family and some of my high school friends. My group of friends mainly consisted of a group of boys who were obsessed with videogames, reading comic books, and listening to 70’s rock music. Generally we use simple communications with each other. For example, if we are planning to do something, one of us will send out a mass text that says something like, “7-11 at 9:30.” Easy and to the point, it’s not so much an invitation as it is a demanded attendance. That’s how the boys viewed it at least.
Unfortunately for my tact lacking friend, “A”, it is because of this system that he landed himself into a whole lot of trouble. Although the main group of our friends were the boys and myself, they usually forget that the girls like to hang out as well. The girls being “E” and “Am”, who are two of our friend’s girlfriends.
It was a usual day for the Holmdel boys, "A" sent out a mass text to all the guys inviting them over to his house to play Mario Kart on his Wii. Key word in that last sentence, “guys”. At first it was just myself, "A", and our friend “C”, who is known for his boisterous personality. We were having a good time eating a leftover calzone from the night before, and training ourselves for what we thought would be an afternoon of gaming. Some time after the text was sent, our friends “Dm” and “Cd” shuffled in. “Dm” settled himself cross-legged on the floor, while “Cd” plopped himself into the smaller couch facing the TV. We exchanged hello’s, and I asked where the girls were. “Oh, they’re outside.” “Cd” replied nonchalantly.
“Well, why don’t they come in?” I asked awkwardly. I knew the inner workings of the girls. If they weren’t coming inside, it was most likely because someone was in trouble with them. I was just hoping that someone in trouble wasn’t me.
“Dm” laughed, “Cause they think they weren’t invited.”
Relieved I was out of the line of fire, I let “Dm’s” words process for a second. Slowly I turned towards "A", “You didn’t invited the girls over?”
He shrugged, “I didn’t think it was necessary. I mean, they are always with Cd and Dm, so I figured they would just come along. Besides, they don’t even like playing videogames.”
I stared at "A" for a minute, “You’re an idiot.” I stated shaking my head, as I got up off the couch and walked outside. Sure enough, “Am” and “E” were sitting outside on the curb. I made polite conversation with them, asked them how things were, then breached the subject of them actually entering "A’s” house to hang out. I tried to explain to them that "A" just assumed that they would come along, but they didn’t want to listen. They very resentfully kept repeating that they weren’t invited, and that they would prefer to sit outside, and eat their pizza that they had brought over.
Defeated, I dragged myself back into the house. “Go fix this.” I said to "A" as I collapsed on the couch, “It’s like, a thousand degrees out there. Go invite them in before they have a heat stroke.”
"A" looked dumbstruck, “But? But why? Why can’t you make them come in?” he whined.
I stared him down, “Because it’s your house, and you’re the idiot who didn’t text them to come over. Now go outside, and invite them in. You’re a big boy, you can handle it.” I said as I shifted myself into a more comfortable position on the couch.
“This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to go outside and ask them to come in! They should just come in! Why do girls have to be so dramatic!” "A" fumed as he stomped out to find the girls.
Eventually after some coaxing, and excessive apologizing, "A" finally got the girls to come inside. Of course they didn’t stay long because, like "A" said, they didn’t have any interest in playing videogames. Although they did, much to my amusement, stick around long enough to make a lot of underlining jabs at "A" before leaving.
Eventually night had come, and "A" couldn’t let the incident go. All day he flustered about how ridiculous girls are, and how stupid it was for them to be mad. As our usual nightly tradition, we made our way to our haunt at the 7-11 off of route 35. It was there, leaning against the old brown brick building, and years of aged gum covered sidewalks, that "A" decided he was going to drag out the topic once again. As if it hadn’t been brutalized enough already. “I don’t understand it! I mean, they were with Dm and Cd! Why did I need to send another text to invite the girls over?” He exclaimed, flailing his arms as he spoke to show his frustration.
“Because, A.” I sighed as I rubbed my temples, tired from explaining the same topic, “The girls want to feel like they are a part of the group. In order for them to feel like they are a part of the group, you have to invite them to things. As in, you have to actually send a text to them. You can’t just send a text to Cd and Dm, and expect them to know that they are invited too.”
“Well why not?! That’s the common sense thing to assume!” "A" shouted, red in the face.
“Okay, let me try to use another example,” I said, “It’s like how I don’t like being called ‘one of the boys’. Yes, I may be one of the boys, but I still want to have my own title. That’s why when we are talking about ourselves, we say ‘the boys and B’.”
“Yeah, I don’t understand that one either.” "A" said point blank.
“That’s it! I give up!” I exclaimed as I threw my hands in the air.
“C” held up his hands to settle us all down, “Okay. Okay.” He turned to "A", “A, let me try to explain this to you. When guys are in an argument, we use logic, right? Well girls don’t use logic. They are illogical, and they don’t argue the way we do. So, for example, what does two plus two equal?”
“Two plus two equals four.” "A" replied simply.
“Oh yeah! Well chairs, A! Chairs are everywhere!” “C” hollered back, mimicking a girls voice.
“But… But that doesn’t have anything to do with what two plus two is.” "A" said frustratedly, and furiously ran his hands through his hair.
“Doesn’t matter, A. I win! CHAIRS! CHAIRS ARE EVERYWHERE! And you can‘t prove that they aren‘t because just about ANYTHING can be turned into a chair!” “C” screamed.
“Yeah! Like this curb I’m sitting on! It’s a chair!” I chimed in.
“No it’s not! It’s a curb!” "A" snapped.
“C” laughed, “Nope, A, it’s definitely a chair! Just because B said so.”
“YOU KNOW WHAT! FUCK THIS! FUCK CHAIRS! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” "A" hollered as he stormed off, leaving the rest of us laughing hysterically at his retreating figure.
Since then, I have explained The Chairs Theory to many of my friends, both guys and girls. I’ve come to the conclusion that this theory is correct, due to the fact that every guy I’ve told understands it. While every girl stares blankly at me and says, “I don’t get it”. Upon reflecting on “C’s” words, this example of how guys and girls interact with each other is how I deal with both genders. When in a disagreement or argument with a boy, I use logic to explain to them why they are wrong. With girls, it’s basically whoever is the last person standing. When girls argue, it’s not a matter of whether or not it makes sense, it’s a matter of how can I end this argument and still be right.
This is why the Chairs argument has enlightened me. A guy can go into an argument and say “Two plus two equals four.” Yet when the girl replies, “Oh yeah? Well chairs are everywhere.” the argument is over. It doesn’t matter if what the guy says is logical, all the guy needs to know is that whatever the girl says is going to be right. No matter what. Even to this day, my friends and I still laugh about the argument that “C” staged with "A". It is still unclear whether or not "A" understands the concept. Yet, whenever a girl we know does something completely illogical, we all look at each other and say, “Chairs, man. Chairs are everywhere.”

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Welcome to the REAL Jersey...

Posted by The one and only "B"... on 11:47 AM
If you follow us on Twitter, you already know what http://twitter.com/myjerseyboys is all about. For those of you who don't know...

Welcome to the world of J, D, C, R, TK, A, DM, T, G, P, CD, Char and me, B (the only girl who hangs out with them). These are my Jersey boys and the random things we say. It's like a live version of That 70's Show. Except we live in Jersey, not Wisconsin. And our usual hang out spots are TK's garage and the local 7-11, not Foreman's basement and The Hub. We still find ourselves pretty entertaining though.

We started out sharing our favorite random quotes on twitter, but now we have decided to expand and share a little bit more about ourselves. So prepare yourself for some ridiculous stories, regular quote updates, and maybe a picture or video here and there. All depending on whether or not the boys and I decide to disclose our actual identities. I'm kind of liking this superhero-like ambiguity, it makes things more entertaining.

XOXO,
B

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