the pterodactyl porn kid...

Sometimes, I wish I could say I made this stuff up. Unfortunately, that is so not the case. Last weekend a few of the boys and I were at a party up at Rutgers. Usually I stick to the boys like glue, (which, according to C, makes me an anti-social bitch because I don't really talk to people I don't know) but somehow J and C disappeared and I was left alone in the basement at this party with no one to talk to. Enter, pterodactyl porn kid. This drunk fool zeroed in on me faster than a fat kid zeros in on chocolate birthday cake. Since I was being an awkward, anti-social loner, I figured it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone I didn't know. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was zoning out durning his drunken rant, and letting C borrow my phone to call J, and letting him take off without me. So there I was trapped, with no way out of this conversation, and no phone to text and ask for help, when this kid showed me his Blink-182 tattoo. This was mistake number three. I mentioned that C loves Blink-182, and that he just ran off with my phone, and I should probably go find him. Pterodactyl porn kid (the nickname will be explained shortly), saw that as an invitation to apparently follow me around for the rest of the night. We eventually found C, sitting out on the porch, smoking a cigarette, and playing with the magic eight ball application on my iPhone (seriously, C. Stop stealing my phone and killing the battery so you can play some stupid game, damn it! *laugh*). Eventually C, J, R and I were all reunited and were killing time up in the attic when Pterodactyl porn kid told us he had to show us these great videos. The first one being pterodactyl porn. It's excatly what you think it is. Except you need to add in puppets. It was disturbing to say the least. Lucky for me, I managed to score a little couch to myself, but it meant I couldn't see the videos. Pterodactyl porn kid apparently had not picked up on my "there's no way in hell I'm interested in you" vibe, and offered to move over so I could sit by him and watch the videos. He was swiftly shot down, with no mercy, but hey! We discovered some pretty cool videos from him. Which I am willing to share with all of you. Except the Pterodactyl porn video. That you can find on your own, sickos.

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