Jalapenos: Mr. Versatility

Versatility is a word, and therefore it has a meaning. Meanings come in all shapes in sizes. You can have more words or maybe ideas, images, or even fruit. If I had to define versatility by a fruit*, I would select the jalapeno (or as the Spanish/Wikipedia call it the "xalaˈpeɲo"). Yes, I took a very roundabout way and probably wasted a lot of your time to get here. The point is that I love jalapenos.

*According to Wikipedia, jalapenos are fruits. You would think I would know whether my favorite food was a vegetable or fruit.*

If jalapenos played in the NFL, they would play for the New England Patriots (who incidentally just traded for Albert Haynesworth- crazy...). If Bill Belichick loves versatility as much as he claims, he would have jalapenos playing every position on the field. Although I apologize to J and C for even bringing up the Patriots on their blog, I refuse to turn my back on jalapenos. They have always been there for me. There was the time I only had 2 slices of turkey, honey dijon mustard, and a loaf of 7 grain bread: not a travesty-type sandwich but certainly not the holy grail (thats 2 HG references in a few days- Spielberg and Lucas, you owe us some money). Fortunately, I searched through the fridge and found an unopened jar of jalapenos that my mom was obviously trying to hide (she is afraid of all things spicy and many things that she thinks are spicy but really aren't) . I snagged a dozen or so jalapeno slices and covered every last centimeter of turkey: A Delicious Sandwich Was Born (I want to make this very clear- sandwiches are born, not made).

I'd like to think the story I just told has a greater meaning. Did it actually happen? Who knows these things? Well, I do I guess, but more importantly you don't. Morer importantly, the moral of the story is that jalapenos make everything better, and I mean everything. Morest importantly, jalapenos are good in any food. A few months ago, Tk, B, and I came up with a list of crazy foods with jalapenos, and at minimum we all agreed that we would at least try all of them. Most of them sounded delicious. Unfortunately, I didn't keep the list (but knowing B she has it- she finds a way to record everything). This is my attempt to recreate that list, going from the mundane to the insane:

1) Omelettes- This is an obvious one. Jalapenos blend right into the cheese and and provide an explosion of spicy goodness.

2) Chips- Please see Lays Kettle Cooked Jalapeno chips. Just fantastic.

3) Pizza- Another obvious one.

4) Ice Cream- Although this might not be for everybody, there is no doubt in my mind that I would love jalapeno ice cream.

5) Yogurt- see Ice Cream

6) Pancakes- Since pancakes are in my top 3 favorite foods, adding jalapenos would probably give me another round of seizures, but it would be oh so worth it.

7) Breakfast Cereal- I would love some jalapenos with my cheerios. Imagine Cinnamon Toast Crunch with some extra zest. I do all the time.

8) Chocolate- They only serve chocolate covered jalapenos in heaven. Unfortunately, since I'm Jewish, I may never have the chance to try one. If you find one, please try it for me.

9) Oatmeal- I know oatmeal is kind of like breakfast cereal, but I think it deserves its own spot. I've had oatmeal the last few days before work, and I really regret not dropping in some j's.

10) Indian Food- I feel like indian food and jalapenos were born to mixed together. They could be the new spaghetti and meatballs.

11) Falafel- For those of you who haven't tried falafel before, you shouldn't. The less for you is the more for me.

12) Cheesecake- The Cheesecake Factory has like 100 different flavors of cheesecake. How do none of them have jalapenos?

13) Hummus- I have it in my fridge at my as we speak. That will not longer be the case after dinner.

There you have it, your lucky 13 delicious jalapeno options. Like I said before, I'm sure B has the longer list somewhere. Maybe she'll be nice enough to share.

D

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