Brazilian Wandering Spiders

D

|

Hello world!

Recently, I have not been feeling quite like myself. I wasnt quite sure what it was at first. When I came back home to jersey, I felt like things were different, or maybe the boys were different. It took me a while to realize it was me who had changed. Maybe not so much have changed, but it's almost like I've settled within myself. I'm vocalizing the things that bother me, the things I want to change or make better. A month ago, I would have internalized it. Now, I'm being more proactive.

Today was an exception, I didn't have any energy to be proactive. Instead I spent most of the day in my room reading. Except for the hour or so that I spent shooting hoops and watching tv with char. D had insisted on my writing a blog post today, though. He even gave me a couple ideas about what to write. I just couldn't find it in me to do so. I blamed it on severe writers block. At least, I had until I went into work. It wasn't until after I had cleaned every window ledge, every table, every chair, and every counter space in the restaurant that my boss commented on my hard work the past couple days. To be honest, I hadn't put much thought into it. After he mentioned it though, it made sense. Whenever I have something weighing on my mind, I turn into a cleaning freak.

What exactly is weighing on my mind? Well, if you've read my last couple blog posts, you already know about Char's ultimatum, and my reluctance to comply. I'm a very stubborn person after all. I refuse to be forced to do anything. Just ask DM, every time he tries to force me to do something, I fight him every step of the way. Why should this ultimatum be an exception? Well, probably because Char knows something everyone else doesn't.

I guess I might as well explain part of this ultimatum. You see, before I left for Colorado, my boss's wife let me in on a little secret. Apparently one of my coworkers has taken an interest in me. He's a nice kid, and has a lot of great qualities, but I wasn't sure if I felt the same way about him as he apparently does for me. I figured spending a month away might turn out to be a blessing. Turns out, I was right.

You know that feeling that you get, when you really care about someone, and they aren't around? For girls at least, we think about the person we care about all the time. We wonder what they are doing. What's going on in their lives. We wonder if they think about us as much as we think about them. We also wonder if they are thinking of someone else. Whether we want to think these things or not, those questions seem to flood our heads constantly. The worst is when you're reminded of this person by something completely irrelevant to said person. We resist the urge, sometimes with a lot of effort, to text them too frequently. Probably because girls are naturally possessive creatures, and we can't seem to help ourselves.

The thing was though, I didn't think about him. Not once. Sure he popped into my Facebook news feed occasionally, and we would comment on whatever the other person posted. That was it though, I didn't feel any need to see him, or talk to him. I never lost any sleep over him, or any of the other usually side effects of lovesickness.

Yet, I wasn't quite ready to dismiss him. Maybe it was because of the fact that I wasn't ready to face the other option in my ultimatum. Which is most likely, if I'm going to be honest. Still, the jury was out until I returned home. When I had, I'd known for sure. I didn't feel excited or nervous to see him. I felt indifferent, and relieved that I was working with him. That's only because he's one of the few people I work with who's remotely competitent at his job. I wasn't even disappointed that I felt that way, only concerned because now I'm left with my other option in this damned ultimatum.

I'm not going to tell you what it entails, maybe you'll find out eventually. For now though, it stays between me and Char... At least it does until he loses patience with me, and does what I seem to be incapable of doing myself... So I guess you're just going to have to assume or wonder. Cause I'm not saying another word about it. Don't bother asking... Sorry to be so short with all of you, but I'm better off not sharing any more details... At least with the general public.

Love from,
Eventually things are going to change... In what way is yet to be determined...
B

|

This may be the coolest thing I've ever seen.

D

|

J and I share links while we are sitting at our desks at work. Today, he found this gem: Soup. If you don't want to follow the link or are religiously opposed to links, I'll summarize. THEY NOW SELL SOUP IN TUBES!

J and I worked on a list of other foods we wouldn't want to eat out of tubes. This is what we came up with:

steak
french fries
pancakes
pie
rock candy
watermelon
sliced bread
waffles
warheads
cheeseburgers
pickles
potato chips
artichoke hearts
olives
butter
Trix

If you can think of anymore, we have a perfect place below to share your ideas.

D

|

... till my job is done with! I've only got two more months of six day (mostly twelve hour) workweeks left. If only I had a time machine, preferably one that only goes forward! Can't wait to collect unemployment and let my body (and mind) repair itself after five years of this crap!

|

3000 is a big number. It is 100 Crave Cases. It is 250 twelve-packs of Bud Light. It is 300,000 pennies. It is 16 years.

Derek Jeter finally got his 3000th hit today. Jeter has been the Yankees' starting shortstop since 1996, when I was 7 years old. Although I am still a passionate Yankee fan, I was much more crazed when I was younger. 60 homers meant something to me. So did hitting streaks, fielding percentage, and the All-Star Game. Now that I'm older, arbitrary milestones (like 3000 hits) don't have nearly as much appeal to me. How is 3000 that different from 2999 or 2998?

As Jeter was approaching 3000, I thought when the moment finally came, I would feel just like I did when A-Rod hit his 600th homer or when Clemens got his 300th win. Those milestones were hollow for me. Not because I have become disillusioned by steroids or over-commercialization, but because I no longer see much significance in round numbers. Jeter did not become a great player when he reached 3000. He did not finally become a hall of famer when the ball landed in the left field seats. We learned nothing today that we didn't know yesterday or even last year.

When I watch sports, I don't have the same experience that other people have. I believe that when other people watch sports, they see themselves in what they are seeing. They connect the former athletic greatness of their childhoods with their favorite teams and star places. I guess it's a type of nostalgia. Although sports in general have some special quality that captures the imaginations of generations, baseball stands out as being magical. Although perhaps overdone, Field of Dreams captures that majesty. I don't share that experience. I am unusually intellectual about sports. Numbers mean something to me, just not the ones that most people care about (Fangraphs.com). I am what you might call a sabermetric-enthuasiast. If you know what that is, I am very impressed.

In the weeks leading up to Jeter's 3000th hit, many people asked me how I felt about Jeter's big milestone. I am widely known for being a super intense Yankee fan (more so when I was younger). I think people are still surprised when I tell them milestones don't matter that much to me. I care about value and efficiency, not magical moments and good stories. But when Jeter's hit landed in the crowd, I smiled. Surprisingly, I swelled with pride as I watched my shortstop round the bases. That's right, my shortstop. He has been the starting shortstop (the most popular position on the field) for my childhood team since I was 7 years old. As he stepped on home plate and was greeted by all of his teammates, I thought about all of the great memories that Jeter has given me in my life. As cold and intellectual as I've become about sports, I was reminded today that like everybody else, I can still be consumed by the majesty and storybook qualities of sports. I thought I had lost that. I'm glad I haven't.

D

|

New Jersey has been besieged by rain and thunderstorms so a large group of us gathered at Char’s house. I was the first to arrive, which is rare for me, and was served up an amazing meal by Char’s grandma. I honestly didn’t expect it and I couldn’t stop saying thank you whenever I ran into her throughout the house, it was great. Slowly but surely we all came together at Char’s starting with J, followed by T and R, DM made a quick appearance, then B arrived, and D showed up last after his flight was cancelled due to the weather.

We played some pool and hung out inside for most of the night before finally deciding to watch a movie on Char’s laptop. Horror films tend to come up in conversation (see: How To Survive a Scary Movie) and at one point we were talking abut the Texas Chainsaw Massacre but somehow we ended up watching this super low-budget B-movie that I’d heard of but never actually seen. The film… was Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers…

Seriously… Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers was unbelievable in its lunacy and succeeded in it’s task of being one of the most fucked up movies we have ever seen!

Tell me… I didn’t just see that?!

You gotta love watching crappy movies on a crappy day. Oh shit, I have to go to work in the morning!

Till next time, let us rock in peace.

Song change... this one just seemed more appropriate.
Don't drink and drive kids!

|