0
The “Kroller” Chronicles: Part 3 (According to D)
Posted by The one and only "B"...
on
9:06 PM
Kroller Chronicles Part III: Kroller OD’s on Mayo
J, C,G, and I became less friendly with Kroller later in high school. Tensions on the show manifested into personal differences that resulted in none of us talking to him since we graduated. Kroller became the target of our mockery. We thought he had become a pathetic joke: taking our TV show wayyyyyyy too seriously, making a fool of himself in general*, and the Mayo story. The Mayo story is why B asked me to write this. The Mayo story is one our favorites stories. At the same time, it is also sad, pathetic, and perverted.
*He wrote a screenplay, possibly the worst ever written. It was about a spy who chases a rogue agent through Manhattan to the airport. The plot involves boring dialogue and awkward exchanges. We enjoyed acting out the script during lunch (we added new dialogue and commentary to the original work).
Mayo is a girl who lived next door to Kroller. She was tall and blond but not particularly attractive. Mayo was a nice enough girl, but she probably was not worth all the effort that Kroller put in. His crush on her is the root of many of Kroller biggest blunders. In our second year working on BP, Kroller tried to give Mayo a role on our show by replacing G (news update anchor) with Mayo. This is one example of many of Kroller selling out one of our friends for his own benefit (the benefit turns out to be very small in this case). Mayo was terrible. She could not read off the prompter clearly. She flipped her hair repeatedly during recordings so that we could not see her face or hear what she was saying. The crew was not particularly happy about having to put up with her just because Kroller wanted her on the show.
Our junior year, Kroller tried to ask Mayo to our junior prom. This is the first time of many that Mayo shut Kroller down. Mayo told Kroller that she already had a date and could not go with Kroller. Meanwhile, Mayo was sending messages to all of her friends begging them to find her a date. Eventually, Kroller discovered Mayo’s deception; however, his enthusiasm could not be denied and chose to try again in the summer.
A few months later, he invited her to a Bon Jovi concert for his birthday. He was planning to use the time together to ask her out. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of asking her on the train ride TO the concert rather than on the trade ride home FROM the concert. Mayo rejected Kroller, so he was forced to deal with the awkwardness of being rejected for the entire night. You would think Kroller would have learned his lesson, but he tried a similar tactic with Mayo at a Billy Joel concert. He learned enough to ask her on the ride home. Once again, Mayo said no. I have always wondered why Mayo agreed to go to the second concert with Kroller. Maybe she really wanted to be friends with him and was hoping that he would just drop it. Maybe she felt bad for him and was humoring him. Maybe she just really wanted free tickets to concerts. Regardless, Kroller was now 0-3. Fortunately for us, Kroller demanded a fourth strike before striking out.
|
J, C,G, and I became less friendly with Kroller later in high school. Tensions on the show manifested into personal differences that resulted in none of us talking to him since we graduated. Kroller became the target of our mockery. We thought he had become a pathetic joke: taking our TV show wayyyyyyy too seriously, making a fool of himself in general*, and the Mayo story. The Mayo story is why B asked me to write this. The Mayo story is one our favorites stories. At the same time, it is also sad, pathetic, and perverted.
*He wrote a screenplay, possibly the worst ever written. It was about a spy who chases a rogue agent through Manhattan to the airport. The plot involves boring dialogue and awkward exchanges. We enjoyed acting out the script during lunch (we added new dialogue and commentary to the original work).
Mayo is a girl who lived next door to Kroller. She was tall and blond but not particularly attractive. Mayo was a nice enough girl, but she probably was not worth all the effort that Kroller put in. His crush on her is the root of many of Kroller biggest blunders. In our second year working on BP, Kroller tried to give Mayo a role on our show by replacing G (news update anchor) with Mayo. This is one example of many of Kroller selling out one of our friends for his own benefit (the benefit turns out to be very small in this case). Mayo was terrible. She could not read off the prompter clearly. She flipped her hair repeatedly during recordings so that we could not see her face or hear what she was saying. The crew was not particularly happy about having to put up with her just because Kroller wanted her on the show.
Our junior year, Kroller tried to ask Mayo to our junior prom. This is the first time of many that Mayo shut Kroller down. Mayo told Kroller that she already had a date and could not go with Kroller. Meanwhile, Mayo was sending messages to all of her friends begging them to find her a date. Eventually, Kroller discovered Mayo’s deception; however, his enthusiasm could not be denied and chose to try again in the summer.
A few months later, he invited her to a Bon Jovi concert for his birthday. He was planning to use the time together to ask her out. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of asking her on the train ride TO the concert rather than on the trade ride home FROM the concert. Mayo rejected Kroller, so he was forced to deal with the awkwardness of being rejected for the entire night. You would think Kroller would have learned his lesson, but he tried a similar tactic with Mayo at a Billy Joel concert. He learned enough to ask her on the ride home. Once again, Mayo said no. I have always wondered why Mayo agreed to go to the second concert with Kroller. Maybe she really wanted to be friends with him and was hoping that he would just drop it. Maybe she felt bad for him and was humoring him. Maybe she just really wanted free tickets to concerts. Regardless, Kroller was now 0-3. Fortunately for us, Kroller demanded a fourth strike before striking out.
|
