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The “Kroller” Chronicles: The Beginning (According to D)
Posted by The one and only "B"...
on
4:11 PM
Disclaimer: The following story is about a friend we had in middle school and early high school. Due to the nature of the story, we think it is only fair to change some of the names. Fortunately, the story is stunning regardless.
Other than the Scud stories, the “Kroller Chronicles” is our favorite epic story to retell. Unlike Scud, this story has a semi-cohesive plot. There is a rise in action and a fall in action. There are multiple climaxes…. Anyway, this story is bizarre (really bizarre).
***
I think I first met Kroller around the 7th grade. Our group hadn’t really developed yet, but some of us hung out with Kroller on a regular basis: J, G, C, and me. We ate lunch together. We played fantasy sports together. We went over Kroller’s house for parties and fantasy baseball drafts. We played pool baseball in Kroller’s pool. Middle school was a simpler time.
A quick description of Kroller: half Chinese, half Irish (Chi-rish). Unathletic. Neurotic. Slightly Below Average Height. Political Aspirations. Those are literally the words that hit my mind when I think of Kroller.
Although the good stuff begins in high school, I will list some of the high lights of middle school (in no particular order).
1. In his basement, Kroller had a wooden table and chairs. C was banned from the Kroller house after he broke chairs simply by sitting on them on separate occasions.
2. Kroller took pool baseball very seriously. One time, I hit a ball way out of the pool, all the way back against the far fence. As I was rounding 2nd base (in the pool), Kroller, who was playing center of the field (out of the pool), tackled me. Rather than run after the ball and try to get me out, he tackled me to stop me from scoring.
3. Kroller would brag about how good at pool baseball he was. Interestingly, he was one of the most unathletic people we knew. Additionally, who the hell brags about how good they are at pool baseball. It’s like bragging about how good you are at Scrabble. Anyway, Kroller was bad at pool baseball. Really Bad.
4. Kroller had a bizarre relationship with one of the teachers at our middle school. It wasn’t anything illegal. More like idol worship.
5. Kroller, J, and I had Ms. W for English. Kroller and J also had Mr. C for math. For English class, we had to write plays, so Kroller and J wrote theirs about Mr. C taking his son to a Mets game. Anything involving the Mets is funny by default, and Mr. C was a running joke among his students.
High School begins in Part 2.
D
|
Other than the Scud stories, the “Kroller Chronicles” is our favorite epic story to retell. Unlike Scud, this story has a semi-cohesive plot. There is a rise in action and a fall in action. There are multiple climaxes…. Anyway, this story is bizarre (really bizarre).
***
I think I first met Kroller around the 7th grade. Our group hadn’t really developed yet, but some of us hung out with Kroller on a regular basis: J, G, C, and me. We ate lunch together. We played fantasy sports together. We went over Kroller’s house for parties and fantasy baseball drafts. We played pool baseball in Kroller’s pool. Middle school was a simpler time.
A quick description of Kroller: half Chinese, half Irish (Chi-rish). Unathletic. Neurotic. Slightly Below Average Height. Political Aspirations. Those are literally the words that hit my mind when I think of Kroller.
Although the good stuff begins in high school, I will list some of the high lights of middle school (in no particular order).
1. In his basement, Kroller had a wooden table and chairs. C was banned from the Kroller house after he broke chairs simply by sitting on them on separate occasions.
2. Kroller took pool baseball very seriously. One time, I hit a ball way out of the pool, all the way back against the far fence. As I was rounding 2nd base (in the pool), Kroller, who was playing center of the field (out of the pool), tackled me. Rather than run after the ball and try to get me out, he tackled me to stop me from scoring.
3. Kroller would brag about how good at pool baseball he was. Interestingly, he was one of the most unathletic people we knew. Additionally, who the hell brags about how good they are at pool baseball. It’s like bragging about how good you are at Scrabble. Anyway, Kroller was bad at pool baseball. Really Bad.
4. Kroller had a bizarre relationship with one of the teachers at our middle school. It wasn’t anything illegal. More like idol worship.
5. Kroller, J, and I had Ms. W for English. Kroller and J also had Mr. C for math. For English class, we had to write plays, so Kroller and J wrote theirs about Mr. C taking his son to a Mets game. Anything involving the Mets is funny by default, and Mr. C was a running joke among his students.
High School begins in Part 2.
D
|
